


Playing the Peonies

by RaiofSunshine



Series: Valastor Week SFW [4]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Alternate Universe - Human, Bets & Wagers, Gossip, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25819684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiofSunshine/pseuds/RaiofSunshine
Summary: Drinks after work lead to betting and gossip for the employees of Fleur-de-Lis & XXX Ink. All except the subjects of their discussions.
Relationships: Alastor/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: Valastor Week SFW [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868932
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Playing the Peonies

**Author's Note:**

> Day 4: Clothing Thief

"Anyone wanna make a bet?"

Throwing back a shot of whiskey, the salt-and-pepper gentleman grumbled through the fire in his throat, "What we making bets on?"

"How long it'll take Val & Smiles t' hook up, course~" The man, all flamboyant pink fur coat on amaranth crop top, sipped on his cocktail with mischief.

"And why should we care about that again?"

"Ya no fun, Hank, ya know that? Nancy, toots, tell me ya want in on this?"

Turning to the littlest woman, cradling a mai tai far too large for her size, the lanky gossip gave her the biggest puppy eyes he could.

She hummed, tilting her head side to side as if her mind was a magic eight-ball. "All signs point to three months!"

Coughing up some of his drink, the bet beginner looked incredulous as he wiped his face. "Woah woah, poodle skirt! Three months? That'sa bit too far, don'tcha think?"

"You don't know Alastor like we do, Angel. He is veeery stubborn. I've never seen him date, let alone sleep, with anyone!" Beaming with confidence, she nodded.

"Yeah? Well then why ya even givin' 'em three months?"

Snickering, the fiery haired woman wrinkled her nose. "I'm prudent, not stupid! If Alastor isn't talking about work, then he rambles on and on about 'that incorrigible ink peddler'. Isn't that right, Hank?"

The grouch in question rolled his eyes, shrugging. "Don't drag me into ya gossip."

A shrill squeal erupted from behind the trio before a flurry of ribbon and lace launched itself onto the couch across from them.

"Gossip?! You guys started all the fun without us?! So meeeeean~!"

The dolly-dressed woman was joined more calmly by a man in electric blue and black, looking like he should be going to a rave rather than coming off work.

"You guys got drinks already? Fucking rude, Ange." The man grinned, all snark and no bite.

"It ain't my fault ya take too long t' lock the place up~"

"Oh? So you're offering to help sterilise everything next time? How magnanimous of you."

"Ah ah~ I don't believe that's in the secretary duties, Vic. Ya offerin' me a pay raise?"

Shaking his head with a laugh, the man in vibrant cerulean waved for the bartender's attention and called out, "Pink squirrel and screwdriver."

"What were you gossiping about? Ooh ooh, was it about CharChar and Vaggie's wedding?!"

"That isn't gossip, silly! Though we did get the lace in for their bouquets!"

"Ohhhhhh my gosh, really?! I keep begging them to let me do matching corset piercings!"

The quietest of the quintet grimaced in sympathetic pain. "Fuck. Not everybody wants to have needles jabbed in them."

"Hank's right, you know. Plus, I think they'd look way better scarred up. I can do a killer lace pattern."

Sticking her tongue out, the bundle of energy flopped dramatically across her debate opponent. "Well, we both lose anyway, so there!"

Turning to his couchmates, the effeminate man whispered like someone at the bar would spoil the surprise, "Val's gotta real cutesy design fo' 'em. Pretty bow wit an apple print. Said it's gonna go on the back of their necks. More private 'n all."

"Awww, he's so sweet! See, Alastor would appreciate that kind of knowledge! Might even speed the hook up to  _ two _ months!" She cackled with glee, wiggling in her seat.

"Ooh ooh ooh!  _ That's _ what the gossip is?! I wanna join in! Hmmmm, two weeks!"

"No way, Velvet! Alastor is a chaste gentleman!"

"Val's good, Nance. Ally can only hold out so long before he falls for that wicked grin."

"Someone's talking from experience~"

"It was high school, Vel. Hormones are fucking abundant. Val's serious though. You can tell by the way he talks about Ally."

His coworker nodded ecstatically as she turned her gaze back to the others. "It's sooo cute! I've never seen him compliment someone in irritation."

"Ooh! What does he say?"

The gossip king beside her snickered, "Oh lottsa things. Just yesterday it was 'that cute fuckin' brat thinks I don't see that sway in his hips. Wait 'til I give him a piece of me'."

"We all know what piece he's thinking of." The boldly blue man grabbed the drinks that were brought over to him, distributing the sugar concoction to his companion. "Me personally? I'll give it an extra one since Ally is such a fucking prude. Three weeks."

"How long are  _ you _ giving them, huh Angie?"

"Ya three are all sortsa wrong. I got this shit down like a science, ya hear? Smiles ain't makin' it another week!" The secretary proudly exclaimed.

"Wait, Ange. Please tell me you aren't a fucking moron. There's five of us."

"I ain't fuckin' dumb, old sourpuss hasn't put in a bet is all!"

"Haaaank! Come on, tell us what you think~"

The group stared at the least talkative of them as he did his best to ignore their prying eyes. Looking anywhere but at the others was difficult when there were four of them. 

He was known for being stubborn, but the other four were an enduring annoyance when their forces were combined. Gradually, his annoyance got more and more obvious as they persisted in silent provocation, until he had no choice if he wanted peace.

"Ugh! Fine, ya'll are fucking idiots! They've already fucked, okay?!" Crossing his arms, he growled at having his hand forced.

A collective choking of four individuals on various alcoholic beverages was a sight to behold, all of them taken by surprise. He chuckled sardonically, having gotten some satisfaction out of it.

"A-already?! Hank, what do you take Alastor for, some floozy?!" The teeny woman appeared appalled.

Shrugging, the cause of the group's chaotic change in aura didn't seem bothered. "Not my business to judge them."

"Man, how can you be so fucking certain then? Val's a player, but even I don't think he's  _ that _ good."

Raising an eyebrow, the older gentleman snorted gruffly, "Ya calling me a liar, Vic? Let me ask ya something. That leather jacket Val always wears. Guady fucking thing like that must be mass-produced, huh?

"What the fuck? His jacket is one of a kind. He got that as a custom piece after he graduated."

"Exactly." The man nodded as if that explained anything at all to the group.

"Umm, Hank baby. The fuck does that even mean?"

He sighed in exasperation, then looked around the bar before leaning in and lowering his grumbling voice. "Was he wearing it today?"

"No? What point are you making, old fart?"

With a smug grin, he looked at each one of the nuisances that had egged him on to this point. "Last I saw that jacket, it was tucked underneath the couch in Alastor's office."


End file.
